Well, here I sit with the T.V. going and Star Trek "Enterprise" is on. It's an old episode so I can type and listen at the same time as I know the story ... I've seen it several times. I still like watching Star Trek though. Some of the stories are quite good. "Deep Space Nine " is on next although I don't have the volume turned up very loud. Part of my job is security for the hotel where I live and when I'm home my door is always open so I can hear if any commotion is taking place in the hall. There are only rooms for rent on the top floor so when my doors open I can hear anybody entering the floor and my dog growls when ever there's a noise. It's 12:05am and it is supposed to be quiet and it is quiet as I can also hear the thump, thump of the band downstairs in the bar. I can also hear the people who go outside to have a smoke (it's illegal to smoke inside a bar in British Columbia). I'll be up untill after the bar closes at 2:00am and for awhile after that. I take the dog out around 3:00am so he can have a little run and do his thing. I usually make it to bed by 4:00am and my day starts relatively early(7:30AM) by cleaning up the mess in the bar. The reason I decided to write these few lines is partly because of bordom and partly so I can talk to somebody. I don't have any close friends and by close I mean "arm around the waist,hand in hand,pat on the bum,kiss on the mouth close". I imagine that if your reading this you know what I mean, you're all looking for the same thing after all. To have a shoulder you can lay your head on, a warm body to cuddle up to while watching T.V. or laying in bed. It's hard to be romanticly intimate when your by yourself (it's just not the same).... (no matter how hard you try). So we turn to the services like this site in hopes of meeting someone, for me it all started back in the mid nineties when I built my first computer that had internet capabilities. When ever I got the chance and was alone I haunted the gay personals sites. In 13 years I have met one guy from these sites. We saw each other a few times although his living in another city presented a bit of a problem (I had no transportation) and he I found out had a wife. That was alright I guess but it was a bit on the awkward (I can't remember how to spell that word and the check spelling thingy doesn't work). Let's just say the situation had a few surface scratches from the start.It still was alright though, I didn't mind, yet! Then came the suprise that .... well it was different, a new experience for me. I had never come across this before and I grew up in a town where all the farmers grew milk cows (50's & 60's)in New Brunswick, Until I was 7 years old they still used steam locomotives to haul trains. Dam things used to scare the crap out of me every time they started to move. The main drive wheels were 6' tall. I was not prepared for this situation, even though I had lived in Toronto for several years and seen and done some strange things. I was not ready for a guy who liked to wear girls clothes. Don't get me wrong, I have known many guys that wore dresses, all the time and some of them were really beautiful girls "really yummy". Some guys shouldn't wear girls clothes and the guy who stood in front of me that day was one of the ones who shouldn't, especially bright red,,, with frills ... and stiletto shoes. Scart the hell outta me, just like that train when I was 5 or 6 years old....did I mention the black fishnet stockings? Since that time I have met a couple of guys but only to say hello and I have had conversations with a few more via the instant services, the last being a young guy in Belgium. I haven't heard from him in a long time. I miss those little messages saying "naked here" popping up on my screen late at night, his morning because of the time difference. Well, here I am years later still looking at profiles. Still hoping that I'll get an email saying that is interested in me and would like to meet and my heart will flutter in my chest because is only 20 years old and likes older guys. I can see it now, we'll meet and he will be absolutely georgeous and then I'll turn into a simpering 14 year old the first time a pretty girl sidles up to him.Intelligent thought and judgement shall quickly fall by the wayside. Polite conversation shall also disappear. God I'll be lucky if I don't look at him, stare stupidly and say "DUH" and to cap it all off I know for a fact that is in this town and he's looking for a guy just like me, I've seen it in the personals. Now if I just knew who he was, eveybody knows me here, I'm not hard to find.....I can see it now. I'll be working outside and a stranger will walk up and say,"I'm ______, glad to meet you. I'll look at him and he'll be absolutely georgeous, tall, dark and every ounce of good sense I've ever acquired will flood out of my body and I'll stare at him and say,"DUH".
Good night fellas it's time to take my dog out for a pee. It's been nice talking to you, hope we can do it again sometime. I want all of you to give yourselves a big hug for me, Toodles!
I'm back and I just got done reading a blog written by an unhappy camper. The problem was that "HE HAD A POINT". He pointed out that we all join sites like this and yet when and if someone shows a little interest in us we clam up as if we were poked with a stick, usually because the one trying to reach out to us is a little or a lot older, has a few gray hairs or a few less hairs. It was also pointed out that a lot of us pass ourselves of as "average nice guys". I am guilty of this one myself. In my profile I put down "average" for body shape and then I published my picture.It is obvious in that picture, even though it was taken by my webcam (Oops my phone I have to go pick up my friend at work I'll be back)..........I'm back again, only it's an hour and a half later. My friend wasn't feeling well and left work early and no we are not doing anything physical, he's just a friend although I'd love it if there was more to the situation than there actually is. He's very young and very, very cute. He's all boy though through and through and far more responsible than most guys his age.
But let us get back to the subject this dissertation is all about. As I was saying before I had to leave, my picture was taken by my webcam and isn't the best but it definately shows I'm not exactly average in size(body) and for those who are wondering,(I'm probably the same size as you unless your huge,then I'd probably be small or if your small then I'd be huge. My thingy is just the right size besides like anything more than a mouthfull is kinda a waste). Again I digress from the subject at hand, I'm a big guy and I'm big all over, I always have been. I have a good heart though and I treat my friends well and that part of my profile is true. I only fibbed about my size and it wasn't a very big fib.I'm probably average for my age judging from what I see in other 58 year old guys. Although I intend no insult to anybody compared to some guys my age I'm almost svelt(in a big sort of way).LOL
Another question the writer of the blog I read had was "why if we aren't going to answer querries from older guys do we even sign up to the sites in question. Just because an older fella directs his attention in your direction doesn't mean your going to have to jump into bed with him. Some of us are actually interesting people and at the very least deserve a little curtesy we are people after all. I must admit I'm guilty of that as well I've failed to answer a few inquiries, Some from older, some from younger and some just cause they were to damm far away. At least one was because I couldn't answer, free membership like this site where you can't even change the font. Mind you I have had a few no answers over the years but they were winks to guys whom I thought were really easy on the eyes. I didn't really expect an answer from them and the winks were meant as a compliment and nothing else. Some of you young guys out there and I've seen your profile photos and some of you's are ________(insert your own adjective)sweet looking so if some older fella winks at you or says hello you should at least blush cause in most although not all cases it's a compliment and deserves at least a heartfelt thanx. It's the polite thing to do and cause we all claim to be nice guys it should be easy for us to be polite. I know I will from now on. How about you? How about all you guys who want penpals and/or conversation, in order to do either one you have to reply to inquiries. Conversations tend to be really boring if nobody says anything and it is impossible to be penpals if no one writes.
Now I know there are a few guys out there who are saying "well why do these old farts try to contact me in the first place,it says right in my profile what I'm looking for". Think about it for a minute haven't you ever gone somewhere seen a hot piece across the room and not tried to catch their eye or say hello or WINKED. HMMMMM!! Well, haven't you?... uh huh, thought so. Now you know why older guys say hello, same reason, we're just a little older not completely f%#&!^g dead. I would think that there are at least one or two of us that think a young, fit male body is just about the most beautiful thing to look at on the face of the earth. Doesn't even have to be naked, I love boxer shorts, adds a little mystery. Thank God for young fit guys, I could just kiss em all....all over!....I know , I'm bad. Does anyone get the impression that I like young guys and these days 45 is pushing he upper limit of what I personally consider young.... (;. My goodness it's 3:00am and I have to get up for work early. This working stuff sure sucks at times, doesn't it? I guess I'll call it a night fellas, again it's been a joy talking to you. Give yourselves a big hug for me and all you young hunks I want you to gently kiss the tip of your index finger and reach down and touch it to your belly button....that's from me to you and remember all you hot guys. I like young guys but I really like T.V. and I love angelfood cake with whip cream on it. Now if I could just get those 3 things together .... YUMMY!!...Till later...toodles.